Le Pew et La Cathedrale

Every morning at 6:44, I go out of our house with our 6^th graders to await the arrival of their limo ride to school (hey, the State of Kansas and USD 265 pays for it; might as well be a limo). And, yes, we walk out at 6:44; but that’s another blog post about the Herndon neurosis called, “Five Minutes Early is Fifteen Minutes Late.”

At some point during this school year, the boys convinced me that we should let our Lab mix, Maggie, come outside with us for the 5-10 minute wait. Oh, why not? It was still dark at 6:44 so I figured she could get into very little mischief. And yes, I let her come out of the house into our garage without a leash. This breaks a rule and causes me to sweat a little, but that’s another blog post about the Herndon neurosis entitled, “Rules are Made to be Followed to the Nth Degree.”

Almost every morning, Maggie bounds down the garage steps and heads for the driveway to sniff the concrete and the grass along the edge. She usually gives everything a good once over and then comes back to the garage to hang out with us till the bus comes. After it drives away, she sprints to the newspaper. She either sits down by it or runs in circles around it. No, she won’t pick it up and bring it to me. I have to walk down the drive in my pajamas and pick it up. The fact that I’m wearing my pj’s and I’m outside breaks another rule. Oh, the blog posts that will follow!

Just this week, I’d commented to the Hubster that the sun was coming up earlier these days. It was not nearly as dark as it had been even last week at 6:44 am. I was a bit concerned about letting Maggie go out with us in the sunlight for fear that she might see a cat up the street and take out after it as dogs are wont to do.

But I didn’t need to worry about cats. No, this morning, as we waited for the yellow limo, we saw something creeping through our neighbor’s yard. I thought, “Oh, no, it’s a cat!” As I was trying to get the words out of my mouth, something like, “Boys! Grab the dog before she sees that cat!,” all four of us (three humans, one canine) realized it wasn’t a cat. It was (dramatic pause). A SKUNK.

A skunk, people. In West Suburbia, Kansas. Walking through someone’s front yard at Oh Dark 30. 

As we all dove for the dog, she saw it and did what dogs do: lost her mind. She bee-lined for it and caught up with it in the middle of the street. All three humans were screaming their heads off. “Maggie! Maggie stop! No, don’t get any closer! Don’t move! Come back!” Of course, we all know that to dogs, this sounds like, “Maggie! Blah, blah, blah! We’re excited about something! Maggie! Ignore us please and chase that cat-thing!”

About this time, as the skunk was raising his/her tail in greetings and salutations, Max decided he should step in and rescue his beloved canine. I have to say I don’t know when I’ve moved faster, especially for 6:44 am. I lunged for him and caught his hoodie and screamed “Stop! Don’t get close!” Thankfully, to a boy, this sounds like “Stop! I will kill you if you move!” when said by a pajama-clad mother.

We watched in horror as Pepe Le Pew did what skunks do. Maggie took the attack in the face and immediately turned tail and ran for us. The three of us hadn’t stopped screaming since we first saw “the cat.” My screams changed from, “Maggie! No!” to “Boys! Get away from her!” I had this vision of her running up to them and rubbing her sprayed self all over their clothes.

Maggie came back to our yard and was doing the weird dog thing of running with your rear up in the air and your face sliding along in the grass. She was furiously trying to wipe the vile skunkness out of her eyes.

I grabbed for her collar, still screaming at the kids, “Stay away! Don’t let her touch you!” when I became aware of Isaac saying, “Mom! The bus!” I looked up to see the bus slowing to a stop and the four or five kids on board craning their necks to see the crazy woman in a purple coat, red reindeer pajama pants, and a pink knit hat desperately trying to hold on to a crazy black dog without touching it.

I’m imagining the following interrogation on that bus: “Dude, who was that crazy woman at your house?” “Dude, what was she doing to that dog?” “Dude, what did she have on?” “Dude, was she screaming at someone?”

To which my 13 year olds would have answered, “Dude, there was a skunk!” and “Dude, I’ve never seen that woman in my life.”*

I managed to get Maggie inside and took her directly to the shower. Unfortunately for him, the shower was currently occupied by The Hubster. I’m sure it kind of ruined the enjoyment of a nice hot shower to have your wife fling the door open and shove a very reluctant 40 pound dog in. He could hear me screaming, but was having a little trouble understanding me over the hysteria. Finally, he heard, “Skunk!” and “Maggie!” and put the rest of the story together. He’s smart like that.

Thanks be to God, the spraying wasn’t too thorough. Monsieur Le Pew wasn’t packing a full load or perhaps all the screaming led to a failure to perform. Whatever the reason, the shower seemed to take care of Maggie’s new perfume.

Our house, on the other hand, has a distinct parfume de Pew. To anyone out there who has ever given me a scented candle as a gift, we owe you our eternal thanks. It looks like a cathedral in here. A sandalwood-vanilla-citronella-wet-dog cathedral.

At 6:44 am tomorrow, the dog will stay inside.

 
*Update: Max called to ask if I could pick him up after school. I asked him if he was having any skunk smell issues. He said, "Yeah, my shoes and Spencer's jacket." Spencer is his seatmate on the bus. Max said, "The whole bus smells now." Somehow, I think a bus full of 11-to-13 year olds may have already had an odor issue, but I'm sure we didn't help it this morning.
 

 

 

 

Taking the Bus to Breakfast

I saw this last week.

It’s a document produced by the Montgomery Improvement Association. It gives very specific instructions as to how persons of color were to ride city buses. Segregation had been declared unconstitutional and it was time for all riders to choose their seats – front, middle, or back.

I can’t read it without tearing up. If Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and the fine people of Montgomery hadn’t answered their calling and taken their seats on the city buses, my family wouldn’t exist. It’s that simple. Interracial adoption was illegal in most states; until the 1990s, there were no federal laws ensuring nondiscrimination in adoption.

My friend Carey told me a story that always comes to mind on this important day when we celebrate the birthday of Dr. King. Carey grew up in the segregated schools of North Carolina. He and his wife were among the first Black children who attended public schools after states were forced to comply with desegregation laws.

Carey told me about going to football camp when he was in junior high. His dad took him to meet the bus and Carey realized there were very few Black kids riding the bus. Carey was scared. How would the other kids treat him? Where should he sit on the bus? His dad said to him, “Get on the bus for me. Get on the bus for you.”

Thank you, Carey, for getting on the bus. You got on the bus for me, Brian, Max, and Isaac.

Thank you Dr. King, for leading your followers with such dignity and grace.  Because of you, this is how we celebrate MLK Day in our house.

We have breakfast with a few of our friends.  Who cares what color you are! You’re all welcome at our table and no one thinks a thing about it.

“Be loving enough to absorb evil and understanding enough to turn an enemy into a friend.”

They're all precious in His sight.

The Haberdashery Conspiracy

First of all, thanks to all of you for your kind words about “Dear Birth Mom.” It was an emotional day and I thank you for sharing it with me. I apologize for the ruined makeup and otherwise embarrassing responses you may have experienced. One man even stopped me at church and said, “I really liked your blog.” Then he leaned in closer and said, “I may have even shed a tear or two or maybe my eyes were just leaking.” Whatever your response, your kind words encouraged me.

Here in Kansas, we’re bracing ourselves for two types of storms. First, the birthday party festivities will be ramping up around 6:30 tonight. Isaac woke up at 3am. I think he might be a little excited.

Second, the weather forecast for this weekend has us all in a tizzy. You couldn’t pay me enough to be a meteorologist in Kansas (or anywhere in the Midwest for that matter) right now. Depending on your TV/Radio/Interwebs weather forecaster of choice, we’re getting anywhere from 1 to 6 inches of snow in the next 48 hours. Before it snows, we may get ice (again, depending on who you choose to listen to, or is it “to whom you choose to listen”?). One of the weather dudes is going to get something wrong and then everyone will blame him/her. Despite our love/hate relationship with these prognosticators, we’ll all run out and buy up all the break and milk from the grocery stores. I’m headed to Wal-Mart soon. I’ll pick some up for you.

Finally, after my last blog, I feel the need to lighten things up a bit and help you get through this last push through the holidays. To do so, a couple of stories:

Yesterday, I was at Sam’s, busily checking out (I love the self-checkout thingies there – that’s a whole ‘nother blog). A nice gentleman walked up to me and said something like, “I like that present you gave my dog.” The look on my face had to have been priceless. In my mind I’m thinking, “Is this code for something? Am I suddenly in a spy movie and this guy is trying to pass off some kind of government secret that will eventually lead me to some form of water torture? Or, is this the worse pick-up line ever?”

Then I took another look at him and realized he was my friend’s husband. I’ve met him a couple of times, but he was out of context. We all know how that feels. Remember what it felt like to see your third grade teacher at the grocery store? Yeah, it was that feeling.

After I recovered, I realized he was thanking me for this:

 

No pick-up line, no espionage. Just a little Chihuahua humor. (Am I the only one who can spell Chihuahua because of Les Nessman? Anyone?) This is my friend Ann’s little Pinot who I thought would enjoy some Christmas apparel. Turns out, she’s a little stunned by it.

After meeting Ann’s husband at Sam’s, I stopped by her office to give her a lamp. We tried to figure out how to get the whole thing on the plane with her to California. This was one suggestion:

I think it works. Especially if she plans to stay for New Year’s Eve.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

 

 

Dear Birth Mom

Dear Birth Mom:

Today is their 13^th birthday.

But you know that. Every year as we celebrate our babies’ birthday, I have the best time. We usually start the morning off with breakfast and gifts and then end the day with dinner at the restaurant of their choice. Sometime during their birth “week”, we have a party. This year is no exception: Seven tween-age boys plus two 13 year olds are descending into my basement to wreak havoc and eat a lot of junk.

But as each year passes, I never fail to get a little (or a lot) melancholy on this day. I can’t help but think of you. And I wonder, are you thinking of us too? Do you wonder what they look like? Do you think about their voices and how they’ve changed and are changing this very moment? Do you wonder where we live and if they have siblings? Do you…?

I often wish you would have chosen to stay in our lives. At the time of their adoption, we gave you the choice, but you couldn’t. You needed a clean break. You’d had them for 34 weeks in utero and six months in an apartment. You recognized their need for stability and for two parents who could be there 24/7. You didn’t have that luxury – you were too busy just making sure all those living with you were surviving. There was little margin for thriving or any such frill.

We’ve done our best (so far) to make sure they know they are loved by us and by you. Does it help to know they ask about you? They wonder if someday you’ll want to meet them. I know you will, when the time is right. But for now, let me tell you about them.

Isaac is tall. And pretty. He’s already about 5’7” and growing at an amazing, sometimes alarming rate. He would die to be called pretty, but he is. He has great big brown eyes and a beautiful smile. He loves our dogs. Every day when he comes home from school, the girls greet the boys at the door. Isaac always stops, gets down on the floor and gets his daily dose of dog germs. He’s the quiet one – until you get to know him. Then you have to ask him to kindly shut it. He has favorite topics: Minecraft and various other games, our dogs, and food. Yes, the kid loves to eat. He gets up from every meal and wants to know when and where the next one will take place. He loves buffet restaurants. He told me when he was about seven that he wanted to go to that place “where you can randomly choose your food.” I read something the other day that summed him up completely:

“When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,” said Piglet at last, “what’s the first thing you say to yourself?”

“What’s for breakfast?” said Pooh.  “What do you say, Piglet?”

“I say, I wonder what’s going to happen exciting today?” said Piglet.

Pooh nodded thoughtfully. “It’s the same thing,” he said.

 A. A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh 

Max isn’t as tall as Isaac. He’s not too happy about this, but we keep telling him he’ll get taller. He already taller than me (okay, so that’s not all that tall!) so I think he’ll hit that growth spurt soon. Unlike his brother, he talks constantly and to whomever will listen. And sometimes, he keeps talking to people who stopped listening long ago. He’s quite the ladies’ man. We’ve always joked that he had a girlfriend in every port: preschool, church, neighborhood, wherever he went. I think we’re about to cross over into the “that’s not funny anymore” region. Frankly, 13 year old girls scare me to death! At 13, he’s “dating” a darling girl. However, I’m not sure what that means since they only see each other at school and occasionally at church. He knows we’re really strict about phone calls, emails, texts, and all that. He’s a good kid with a huge heart. He has a friend whose family is in a constant state of crisis because of their father’s illness and a sister’s teenage depression. Max always wants to bring this kid everywhere we go: church, restaurants, family outings, even our vacations. When we made plans for a family trip this past summer, he told me, “Mom, I’ll sleep on the floor so we can take (his friend) along. He never gets to go anywhere and he’s never been on a vacation like we have.” That was the ultimate horror for Max. He hates the fact that someone else might not have fun like he does – every moment of the day. His heart is huge and it comes out in the beautiful smile that graces his face 90% of his day.

Birth Mom, you gave me a great gift. I get to mother these boys and it is a constant joy. No, it’s not always easy, but compared to what you did to give me this gift, it’s a walk in the park. You gave them to me; I’m doing my best to see that they do you proud. They love you, even though at this age they can’t express it. They love me, too; I know because they look at me with grateful glances and smiles that will melt your heart. And occasionally, when their tough boy shields are down, they say, “Love you, too, Mom.”

Thank you, Birth Mom. I hope this December 18^th is filled with sweet memories and happiness and that, somehow, God will visit you today with special peace that passes any mortal understanding. We love you.

From one mom to another, 

Brenda

 

 

 

Our Schedule in India

Our team:  Holly Miller, Julie Chippeaux, Stephanie London, Brenda Neuhaus, and Candice Anderson

I leave next week (gasp!) for India with this wonderful girls!  Many of you have asked for our schedule so you can pray specifically for us.  I've listed it below.  Remember, we'll be 10 1/2 hours ahead of Central Time, so when it's Tuesday morning there, it's Monday evening here.

We have quite a busy trip planned during our eight day stay in southeast India. 

Our first stop will be at the India Gospel League’s headquarters where we’ll visit their orphanage, meet some of the women Pathway has sponsored in the Women to Women microloan initiative, and attend their Sunday worship service. 

Next, we’ll travel to the Women with a Mission Conference.  IGL has chosen “We are the Body of Christ” as its theme this year.  We’ll be teaching and sharing our personal testimonies with the women at the conference.  We’ll conclude our trip with a church dedication in the city of Akiveedu.  In this area of India, less than 3% of the population has heard of Jesus.  IGL has designated it as an area of concentrated ministry in the years to come.  We’re excited to be there for the opening of the Life Center.

Our schedule:

·       Thursday, August 22 through Friday, August 23: Fly out of Wichita, through Frankfort to Bangalore

·       Saturday, August 24 through Monday, August 26: Travel to Salem and visit Sharon, IGL’s home base.

·       Tuesday, August 27:  Travel to Chennai; fly to Hyderabad, then to Vijayawada.  Travel by van to Akiveedu.

·       Wednesday, August 28 through Friday, August 30:  WWM Conference in Akiveedu

·       Friday, August 30:  Attend church dedication service in Akiveedu

·       Saturday, August 31:  Travel by van to Vijayawada; fly to Bangalore;

·       Saturday, August 31 through Sunday, September 1:  Fly from Bangalore through Frankfort, arriving in Wichita Sunday evening.

Please pray that we’ll have the strength to maintain healthy minds, spirits, and bodies as we partner with IGL. 

I'm Going to INDIA!

 

I haven’t blogged in ages.  I know.  But I have several “excuses.”  Along with all the usual goings-on in the Neuhaus House, I have some exciting travel/ministry news:

I’m going to India this summer!  I’m traveling with a group of women from two Wichita churches:  Pathway Church (my home church) and Central Christian Church.  We’ll be ministering with women in south-central India at a conference sponsored by India Gospel League (IGL).

These are the five who will be going from Wichita:

Meet my new friends:  Holly, Julie, Stephanie, and Candice. 

 (I'm the short one with the gold scarf in case you've forgotten.)

 

I’ll be traveling August 24^th through September 1^st.  Our itinerary includes:

·       Flying into Bangalore;

·       Visiting IGL headquarters in Salem where we’ll work with women whose lives have been changed through microloans;

·       Traveling to Vijayawada and Akividu to lead a women’s conference;

·       Attending a Life Center (a community outreach center built by IGL) dedication in Akividu, a rural area adopted by Pathway for Christian development.

 

Holly, Candice, Julie and I spent some time praying over our detailed schedule last night.

(Steph was at a conference, but we know she was with us in Spirit.)

We’ll be traveling to large metropolitan areas as well as small towns and villages.  I’m excited about the opportunity to see a cross-section of this beautiful country and participate in many activities geared toward women.

Many of you have asked how you can partner with me on this adventure. I've already received an overwhelming response to support requests I mailed to a few of you.  I'm about 2/3 of the way to being fully funded.  (Update:  As of 4pm today, I'm FULLY FUNDED!  I know!  God is so faithful!  If you'd still like to contribute, my fellow travelers can use your help.  Thanks so much!)

I humbly ask for the following:

·       Please pray for me as I embark on this God-directed adventure.  I don’t enjoy flying and it takes a lot of it to get to India!  Pray I’ll be able to rest on the flight and arrive in India ready to go. 

·       Pray for Brian and our kids as they remain home.

·       Pray our team will reach its financial goals and everyone will have their trip monies on time.

·       Consider giving a financial gift toward my trip.  Instructions to do so are included at the end of this blog.

I’m thrilled to be a part of this trip.  God has given me a heart to teach and minister to women; the chance to do this in India is simply breath-taking!

Thanks for your prayer and support.  If you have any questions or need more information, please contact me via the comments on this blog, on Facebook, or on Twitter.

 

Thanks so much! 

Giving information:

For on-line giving: 

Go to Pathway Church website:  www.pathwaychurchonline.com

1.     Click “Giving” in  left hand column

2.     Choose “Give Online”

3.     Click on blue “Donate” button

4.     If you don’t have a log-in ID, you will need to “Create an Account”.

5.     Once logged in, click on “Mission Trips” in the gray box on the left

6.     Select the appropriate “Mission Trip” from the drop-down menu

7.     Select “Contribute to Mission Trip”

8.     Type in the name of the person you are donating to (trip attendee).  Then click “Verify Attendee.”  If you are unable to verify attendee or have any questions on the online giving, please email:  mary.kranick@pathwaychurchonline.com

9.     Type in amount you wish to contribute

10. Click “Next.”  It will take you to the next page where you will put in your debit/credit information.

 **To view giving history, please allow 2 business days

**If the person you are donating to is already fully funded, your donation will still be applied to this serving trip.  If the entire team is fully funded, excess donations will be put into the mission project account for projects of future teams.

**If you would like to donate to the team and not a specific team member, skip step 8 and put in the amount you would like to donate.

 To give by check: 

1.     Make your check payable to Pathway Church (this will ensure it is tax deductible).

2.     Include “India” on the memo line, but DO NOT put my name anywhere on the check.

3.     Send it to me (message me on Facebook or Twitter or through the comments on this blog and I’ll send you the address).

The Good Boss or How I Met Your Father

About 24 years ago this month, I got a new job.  Little did I know when I started this new job that I was also embarking on the adventure of a lifetime. 

I was hired as a trainee for a large insurance company.  I won’t tell you the name of the company because past experience has told me that if I mention it, some of you will stop reading and go to the comments to tell me how said company did you wrong.  Let’s remain friends and leave the company’s name out of it. 

In the course of my training, I was assigned to a unit in our Northland office.  It was a bit of a drive, but I soon realized it was worth it.  I felt like I’d come home when I started working with this group of people.  We all shared the same sick sense of humor and you knew someone had your back whenever, wherever.   

I really liked the boss.  He was The Good Boss, by all accounts.  He was a nice guy, early thirties, demanding of his employees but never in a belittling or demeaning way.  He was easy on the eyes, too; but, alas, he was married.  As a single gal, I had such a high respect for marriage that I never gave him or his nice looks another thought like that.  That was just inconceivable to me.   

Eventually, my temporary trainee assignment turned into a permanent claim representative assignment and life as an 8-to-5 corporate employee cranked on.  I had a boyfriend or two, but nothing that really stuck.  That was okay.  I was content to work hard, laugh hard, and wait for the Mr. Right that God had planned for me. 

About a year after I’d been toiling away, The Good Boss announced to us that he was soon to be single.  His wife no longer wanted to be married and he had little choice in the matter.  This came as a shock to everyone.  What looked great from the outside wasn’t so much.  We rallied around him, helped him move from his house to an apartment, and made sure he knew we had his back. 

Months past.  I was often in the habit of staying after hours in the office.  I’m not a morning person and could get a lot more done after 5pm then I ever hoped to accomplish between 8 and 10am.  Besides, I wasn’t dating anyone, I was living alone and didn’t so much as have a cat.  So no one was waiting for me on the other side of my apartment door.   

The Good Boss was staying late as well.  I assumed since he was in the same single row boat as me, it made perfect sense.  We’d chat after everyone left about what we’d be having for dinner.  I’d tell him my plan was a) Lean Cuisine, or b) Cereal over the sink, or c) Pop Tarts and Diet Coke.  (Actually, answer “c” was what I usually ate at my desk in the mornings for breakfast, much to his disgust). 

He took some kind of personal offense to my dinner habits and would tell me I needed to eat a more healthy diet.  He also mentioned something about needing some stuff for his apartment but not really knowing his way around the local Wal-Mart.  So one night, as we were standing in the parking lot, chatting about eating more fish and retail therapy, he said, “Why don’t you go to Wal-Mart with me and then I’ll fix us dinner?”

 

So that was that.  Our first date.  Yes, to Wal-Mart.  We bought an ironing board and a lot of other stuff.  And about thirty minutes into it, I realized I was crazy about this guy.  Yes, I was falling for The Good Boss.  Cue the ominous music, please. 

We started dating on the sly.  Well, we thought we were dating on the sly, but I think our co-workers knew from day one because we couldn’t really contain our giddy happiness.  After a few months, we decided to go public.  I’ll never forget what he told me:  “If they fire you, I’ll help you however you need it until you get another job.”  He had my back. 

Our bosses were great; they recognized that happy people make happy employees and moved me to another building and another claim unit.  That date to Wal-Mart set in motion quite a commotion.  But everyone involved was truly happy for us and very supportive.  You guessed it.  They had our backs. 

Twenty-one years ago this Friday, October 12^th, The Good Boss and I got married.  No, we didn’t hold the reception at Wal-Mart. But he still works for the same company, we still shop at Wal-Mart, and we eat a lot of fish.  And this I know for sure:  He still has my back.