I wasn’t going to watch American Idol this season. After last year, I was done. The talent pool was so shallow, it was scummy and green. I was disappointed in the panel of judges. No one seemed to want to tell the truth and give the singers the advice I thought they needed.
But I listened as the scuttlebutt started this season. People were talking about it on Facebook, talk shows, blogs – everywhere. My DVR was still set to record the episodes, so I started watching a few minutes out of each week’s programs.
This pool of talent is not shallow. It’s deep, cool, and beautifully diverse. I was liking what I was hearing and really enjoying this panel of judges. The Dawg, J-Lo, and the Original Skinny Jeans Rocker were doing a nice job of telling the truth and providing real musical commentary for the singers.
I must say I’m especially impressed with Steven Tyler. He really tells it like it is and has valuable advice for the kids. I could do without his strange leering looks at the young ladies, but I’m thinking he may have vision issues. After all, at his age, things start to happen. But I must insist that he do something about those readers he puts on when he has to consult his notes. Really, Steven. Did you get those at Walgreen’s? Dude, call me. I know some good optometrists who could hook you up. Maybe some bifocals contacts are in order? Or at least a better frame. Because, when you put on those readers, I think you’re a dead ringer for Benjamin Franklin and Whoopie Goldberg’s love child.
I digress. Last night, I decided I was ready to commit to a full episode. I love the Beatles and those kids did them proud. I was blown away by the trio’s version of “Long and Winding Road.” I honestly don’t know how the judges could make decisions about who had to go and who could stay.
I’ve had an up and down relationship with Jennifer Lopez. I first met her and thought she was darling when she was a Fly Girl on “In Living Color.” I can honestly say you won’t find any of her music on my Zune, but I cringed as she went through her Rapster Moll-Ben Gigli-Media Overload Stage. I wondered if she had the chops to be a real judge on a singing contest.
I had a Jennifer epiphany last night. Would that be a jenniphany? There she sat in the cool white and chrome chair, in that emerald dress with her Veronica Lake hair (Google "Veronica Lake" if you want to see what I mean). She had to tell Chris Medina that he was going home. She told him how she felt. She told him his character was not defined by winning a singing contest. She told him his integrity was his greatest asset. I’m paraphrasing, but that’s what she said.
Right before my eyes, she turned into Mrs. Jenny Anthony. She was a gal I’d love to friend on Facebook. I’d meet her for a latte any day. She’d listen to my stories about raising twins and tell me a few of her own. She’d share her hair care secrets and tell me how they get her makeup to look so natural. She’d tell me what it’s like to sob while wearing false eyelashes.
Because, when you broke down and cried Mrs. Anthony, I, along with your eyelashes, became unglued.
Okay, Fox Network, I’m hooked. I’ll see if I can find The Hubster’s Gorilla Glue and put the pieces back together. I’ll see you Thursday night.